I am feeling pretty good today. Nothing has really gotten me down lately, and being alone has been so much less confusing for me. I am proud of myself for having the bravery to be alone, instead of staying in a bad situation for the chance I might receive one scrap of affection. I have started to re-read one of my favorite books of all time, called "The Lucid Dreamer" by, Malcolm Godwin. It is a guide to the practice of lucid dreaming, as well as a compendium of eastern mysticism and philosophy throughout history. For those who do not know, Lucid Dreaming is the practice of being awake and alert while being totally asleep, in other words, being aware that you are dreaming. Once you are aware that you are dreaming, then you can control what happens in your dream. The eventual objective is not to get lost in one's own dream labyrinth, but to eventually "wake up." Waking up implies that we are all asleep all the time, even when we are "awake". By awakening, we attain enlightenment, and discover the true nature of reality and of ourselves. This seems to me, the most worthwhile goal in my life would be to attain a better understanding of myself and the nature of the world around me. I have been reading this book slowly over the past, oh, seven years or so. It really is that dense of a subject matter, and is something which is worth the time to understand fully.
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